Kids :)

Ahh~ Kids, they just brighten up your day don't they?

I wanted to share with you something. That something was used to be my dream years ago. Something bout a child, kids, children :) When I was little, after my mom gave a birth to her 4th child, Muhammad Shakir bin Rosli (the only boy in my siblings!) I remember telling my mom 'Ibu, Nadiah don't want to have any little brother or sister AGAIN. If I do have one, I'll burn the baby in the oven'. Yes. I've said that to my mom. Because I love Shakir very much any I don't want my mom to put away her attention from him if she is pregnant again. Thank god our Shakir is the last siblings of us all. Hahaha :P

Okay, when I was a teenager couple of years back ago, I did sometimes think about kids. (Oh come on, who doesn't?) I've always wanted to have a baby boy :) Because I am myself love something adventurous. I love football, I hate pink, I love outdoor activity, I hate make ups, handbags or high heels. See? If I have a baby boy, for sure I spent time with him with loads of mummy-son or muumy-daddy-son activity together a lot. But things changes when I read a book titled 'The Memory Keeper's Daughter'. Okay, this is the synopsis of the book :

'On a winter night in 1964, Dr. David Henry is forced by a blizzard to deliver his own twins. His son, born first, is perfectly healthy. Yet when his daughter is born, he sees immediately that she has Down's syndrome. Rationalizing it as a need to protect Norah, his wife, he makes a split second decision that will alter of their lives forever. He asks his nurse to take the baby away to an institution and never to reveal the secret. But Caroline, the nurse, cannot leave the infant. Instead, she disappears into another city to raise the child herself. So begins this beautifully told story that unfolds over a quarter of a century — in which these two families, ignorant of each other, are yet bound by David Henry's fateful decision that long-ago winter night.

Rich, compulsively readable, and deeply moving, The Memory Keeper's Daughter captures the way life takes unexpected turns, and how the mysterious ties that hold a family together help us survive the heartache that hold a occurs when long-buried secrets burst into the open. It is an astonishing tale of redemptive love.'

From the story I've already captured the life of a single child without any siblings to play with. That story COMPLETELY change my mind about having only a single child. I respect my mom and keep wondering how does she divides her love to 4 of us equally. I'm scared that I can't be like her. I'm scared that I've failed to be a mother that is loved by all of my child. But I remember my mom telling me this " When you deliver yourself your own baby, then you will know how to love him/her. You'll realized by yourself how important every one of your child in your life '' . Thanks Ibu sayang for your beautiful advice.

Okay, back to the story, long long time ago I've always wanted to open/built up a house for urmm, what can I say an abandon and orphan child. I've always wanted to take care of them. Give them attention that they supposed to have and give them full affection that they deserves to get and give them education that so that they can have a bright future, push and motivate them through everything and tells them 'it's okay darling, it's alright you've got me'. It really touched me from the bottom of my heart, a child that is so weak and doesn't have any people to guide them through their hard times, the tears, the laugh, the major weakness in everything. It really brings me to tears. Really.. Now I don't know whether I can make this dream come true :/ Well it will but only if I found 'someone' who have this very same dream and hope for these children just like I do. But I don't know who~