Degree yaw!

I'm determined. I'm going to do Fast Track. Wish me luck and pray for the best in me baby :)

The Girl That I Used To Be

I used to be a vindictive girl. Especially to the one who make me angry or humiliated. Until today, there's one bad mouthed-bitch-jealous-back stabber-friend snatcher-stupid-idiot-fat girl back in primary school that I still can't forgive her towards what she's done to me.

I used to be the girl who get bullied because of my ability of speaking English fluently since I was a little girl. And also because of they are jealous with things that I had; my Barbie doll collections, my cute pencil case with the the matching stationary, my colorful color pencils, my collections of Harry Potter books and even my school bag! Stupid people.

I used to be the girl who have to spent my recess time all alone by myself during my Std 4 life. Yes, I once cried alone at the corridor thinking that I am the unluckiest human alive on this planet we called earth.

I used to join half of the class getting punished because we didn't memorized our Time Tables. Until today, I never memorized it but look at me, I still survived! So, whats so important about it eh. What is the used of calculator then? Damn Mathematics.

I used to have a big huge great gigantic celebrity crush over Daniel Radcliffe and Cristiano Ronaldo and feel very foolish afterwards. Well, I think both of them are hot plus sexy too.

I used to be the only girl without a boyfriend in my group of friend. But I don't care. Everyday I have to hear them talking about boys and stuff. I get sick with that and usually keep quiet during the conversation. Well, I' not that desperate. My first one should be my last one. Because I can't handle broken-hearted feeling.

So now, I'm the new Nurul Nadiah Rosli. I'm sorry to say that I can't trust my friend easily. I've got my own reasons of why. I'm stronger than before. You can't control me if you don't understand my past. Now I'm learning to forgive and forget. It is the most hardest thing for me despite from all of my life experience before. I'm done with it now. My eyes had had enough of letting my tears flow. Miraculously, my mouth just let the muscles works so that I can keep on smiling :)

P/s : I badly need a friend that I can call a Real Friend. I don't believe in Best Friend Forever anymore.

Dear God

Dear god,

Please do hear me now. As I'm gradually losing my strength and hope. I have no idea of what to do. I'm worried. And I'm mad with the people surrounding me without any appropriate reasons. What happened to me dear god? Forgive me if I'm wrong. If only I could turn the hands of the clock, I promise that it won't happened this way. I've already let one person go from my life and I can't bear to let another one go. I don't want to repeat the same darkest history. Dear god, My heart is breaking to pieces but I'm still moving on. I'm still hanging on. Cause I know that I'm strong. And I don't want to have tears in the middle of the night as my daily routine before I go to sleep. I don't need that money or those things after all, I'll trade that for his messages and his calls. Dear god, I am terribly missing someone so much right now. Seriously, I do :(

Now dear god, as I am sure you've heard what my heart are saying, please please please fix my pain.

Ibu, house and a diamond ring.

Hmm.. Lately, my future is kinda worrying me. I'm giving up for almost everything. What happened to me? I don't even know why :( But what motivate me to study harder is basically 3 things : Ibu, future house and diamond ring. This three things is my main motivator throughout almost everything for me especially during the stressing examination period. I'll do everything for ibu. And it is true that I am already searching for my future house. And diamond ring? It's actually a promise that I made to ibu before I go into the next stage of my life : marriage. To prove that I have my own better finance, i can take my own responsibility and as the thank you give for everything that she'd done to me. Well, looks like ibu can't wait to have it ;) (She getting excited everytime she's looking at the jewelery catalog and trying to imagine what is her future ring will looks like) Well well, i'm not going to let this failure takes over me. No I won't! I'll do everything to achieve those 3 things and make ibu proud pf me :) ilysm ibu. xoxo

The Teacher to-be Akmal

I still remember it. It was 9th September 2009. Explorasi Sejarah. My school combined with Maktab Tentera Diraja and Sekolah Sains Seri Puteri. Each of us got a mentor. Since my school joined them, so we have to divide, 1 mentor for 2 persons. And me with Azila got Muhammad Akmal as our mentor. At first, we didn't spoke much. He did think I'm 'sombong' since I only asks him things related to Sejarah. Nothing much. But in the end, we did get along together. Talk bout some random things and mostly bout his life at MTD aka RMC. It was fun knowing him.

And we did meet after that. Our first meeting is at Times Square. He wanted to take his SPM results. Since he lived in Sarikei, Sarawak, he did spend his little time going out and having some fun with me. And believe me or not, we rode that bumper car 12 times and I have a major pain at the back of my neck during night time and I can't use pillow during sleep time! We have the same image of the future. That is to be an Air Force. We did kinda planned things together IF we get in there. And he did it! He managed to get into UPNM and I didn't. And all of dreams were crushed! But Akmal was only selected as Awam not as an army itself. So he drop it and now he currently continuing his study at Institut Perguruan Rajang. Preparing himself to be a P.E teacher.

I thought our friendship was over. Seriously. Maybe we will only contact each other through ym or Facebook. I'm surprised that we are not! I got his sudden call. And I know that's its not over rght away. The next month, he was telling me that he will come over to KL again for his 1 week holiday! And we did met up for the third times. Visiting Zoo Negara on 19th March 2010. And I did have a good time, a good laugh and a good lots of story shared with him. At the end of the day, I received a message from him "Thanks for spending your holidays with me". And I reply back "Welcome. Thanks for still remember me as your friend"

With Akmal aka Amai at Zoo Negara :)

Karnival Jom Jual

Jom Jual Carnival starting from 8-12 of February 2010. Held at the Alamanda Campus basement at 8am to 5pm, my class (DBS2K) decided to sell textile, bundle, girl's accessories, some of the food and lots more. Since I was the Assistant of Chief Organizer Officer (helping Kak Muthiah the COO itself), this means that I have to do my duty everyday! -tu lah, ape suruh gatal lagi volunteer!- The first day was kinda awesome. But if you know me better, I don't really like doing this kinda promoter, cashier, salesgirl stuff. It's because of my easily-get-embarrassed-with-the-surrounding bad bad habit. Here, let the picture do the talking of what I've done for 2 days in the row :)

I'm busy with the stocking and pricing!

Kak Muthiah checking the lanyard to be sell Some of our products : 4m of English Cotton textile From left Huda, Shida, Kak Muthiah and me :)

I don't really learn new things for this carnival compared to what I've learn during Program Usahawan Muda (PUM) back when I'm in my secondary school. But overall, this is the kind-of real competition in the business arena. Welcome to the business world :)

The Way I loved You

Everything's cool, yeah. It's all gonna be okay, yeah. And I know maybe I'll even laugh about it someday. But not today, no. Cause I don't feel so good, I'm tangled up inside and my heart is on my knee. Tomorrow is a mystery to me. Letting you go is making me feel so cold, yeah. And I've been trying to make believe it doesn't hurt, but that makes it worse, yeah. See, I'm a wreck inside. My tongue is tied and my whole body feels so weak. Future may be all I really need. Like a first love. The one and only true love, wasn't it written all over my face. I loved you like you loved me. Like something pure and holy, like something that can never be replaced. And it was wonderful, it was magical. It was everything I've waited for, a miracle. And if I should ever fall in love again with someone new, oh, it would never be the way... No, it would never be the way I loved you.